Just breathe
Being away was much needed, I guess. Staying would perhaps have driven me nuts. Escape was perhaps what would get my mind off things, keep it busy with constantly new experiences, new people, new languages, new environments. Just to stay sane.
Perhaps it was timely after all.
Things have changed, too much has changed. Home doesn’t feel like what it was. And it’s not. It’s not what it was, and it never will be. And that’s life, I guess. People moving in different directions, heading to different places. Fluidity. Motion. Wishing things would stay the same would be a sure way to insanity.
Yet I still wish things would be what it was before.
Months have passed, and I still get a sudden sense of fear when I receive messages from home.
When things changed, I was reluctant. I was selfish.
Deep inside, I guess I still am.